HELPING ME CLEAR OUT THE RUBBISH

 
Gradually Baba starts bringing up old conflicts. The first time I went to Myrtle Beach I started having a conflict about Jesus. I knew that Baba had said He was Jesus, and I was a real lover of Jesus but, given my background, I had trouble reconciling the two. I didn't want to have any conflict about it; it just happened automatically.

The whole time at the Center I kept thinking, "Who is Jesus and who is Baba?" When I went home, I remember it was the next day, I prayed and prayed, "God, You have to let me see the truth. I love Baba so much; I owe Him my entire life, everything, every breath. And yet, I have this conflict between Baba and Jesus and I have to resolve it. Please help me."

The next morning, before I woke up, I had a dream — and yet it wasn't a dream. I suddenly felt myself in a different country. I sensed that it was the Holy Land and I thought it must be Jerusalem. I was on a mountain, a little below the peak, and on the top stood Jesus. It was the most incredible vision I had ever had of Jesus. He was so stunningly beautiful. He had white garments on and His eyes were like the Ocean of Love — they were so deep and so loving and so beautiful. I exclaimed, "O, Jesus, you've come! You've come! You're going to give me the answer. I'm so happy!"

Jesus didn't say a word. He just looked at me with those fathomless, loving eyes; He was all Love and Peace and Beauty and I waited expectantly for the answer as He stood there in absolute silence. Then He said, "God is One," and directed me to go back to the valley.

When I woke, the whole conflict was gone, as if it had been erased from my consciousness. This was because I had felt the "Godness" — the Love of Jesus, and the Love of Baba. This experience resolved my conflict. The form was different, but the "Godness" was One.

I still go through conflicts but I feel now that it's a blessing. Every time Baba gives me a conflict, I feel that He is helping me clear out the rubbish. I used to curse my conflicts, but now I'm really happy.