I LOVE YOU AS YOU ARE

 
To be in the company of the God-Man and to serve Him to His self less satisfaction was not an easy-going affair. Those who stayed close to Baba had to pass, time and again, through "fires". Sometimes the mind would rebel and the heart would be in low spirits, but the God-Man, being infinitely skillful, played with each of His companions a thrilling game to its farthest limits. To illustrate how in the lives of Baba's dear ones — whether in the Old Life or the New Life — the emotional crises were initiated and resolved, I quote below a letter from Baba sent in the early 1930s to Quentin Todd, one of His lovers from England. Baba dictated:

I have all your loving letters and know how you long to be of service to me. You have been and will be still more, dear boy. Why should you feel yourself "unworthy" and that I am pulling on [putting up] with you and so on? For I love you as you are. You have a nice, frank, receptive heart that can and does love, in spite of the constant reverses, as you say, from the head. And that is all I want.

When one completely depends on me and leaves things to me as you have, I see that the reverses from the head gradually give way. I will order everything for the best, as you desire. The way you feel, your own weaknesses open your way and lead you to rise above them. They all have to come out once and the sooner the better. It is because of this that you feel as you do, but you, dear Todd, needn't at all worry. For it is all for the better. Things are being stirred up and they are all brought out to prepare you for the greater future that is to be yours. Love me more, and that will take care of other things, consuming all in its flame, till nothing but pure Love Divine remains. That is all I want you to do, more and more.

The merits or the weaknesses of His followers and lovers did not matter much to Baba. He was and is concerned with their total and willing surrender to Him. He is ready to accept anyone as he is. In the New Life Baba often stirred up the companions' emotions and then helped them to face their weaknesses. The plans and the many changes in the external aspect of the New Life were made by Baba to keep the spirit of the New Life intact while at the same time accommodating the natural weaknesses and proclivities of His companions. After all, He is the Compassionate Companion!