CRITICIZING OTHERS

 
I knew by now that a period of close contact with this spiritual Master is often followed by a period of intense challenges, both internal and external. It seems we must integrate what we've learned, putting our new understanding to practice in daily life. Secretarial school was part of that process, but there were other challenges, and some of them I imposed on myself. One of those concerned Baba's admonition that we must not criticize others. And since he said criticizing others was one of the harder tendencies to overcome, Sparkie and I felt challenged by it.

Because we were young and enthusiastic, we truly believed that it couldn't be all that difficult to overcome personal weaknesses. We made a pact: an entire week without criticizing anyone. And we worked hard at it. As the week neared its end, not a single critical word had passed our lips. Then, on the last day of our resolution, we were sitting in a cafeteria across from school when a group of girls from Brooklyn entered and sat at an adjoining table.

Their conversation went something like this: "Did you see that girl?" "Did you see what she did?" and so on. It continued around the table, with each one chiming in, until this girl had been thoroughly raked over the coals in absentia. Sparkie and I sat there, growing more and more incensed. After all, we knew the importance of avoiding criticism. When the group finally left, the two of us looked at each other and, with pactically one voice, exclaimed, "How can they talk about that poor girl that way? Isn't it terrible!"

And there it went — the whole ball game. Just when we had been doing so well, we found ourselves criticizing others for the very fault we were trying to overcome. It was a forceful experience with what we later came to know as the "spiritual ego." It kicks in when you begin to transcend a fault or develop what the Master has defined as a positive attribute. Then you begin to feel very virtuous and proud. Once that spiritual ego erupts, you've got to learn the entire thing over again!

Baba was very insistent that people not be critical of others. Sparkie and I talked about this too, and I've often thought about it since then. One point that continually comes back to me is the importance of respecting and tolerating others. God wants to produce harmony in the world, and there can only be harmony if more than one note is being sung.

One can't have a symphony with just a single instrument. And there can't be a chorale without multiple voices. It takes those contrasts and differences. If you're going to plant a beautiful garden, you don't plant just one flower. You plant a variety so that the garden is always blooming, so there's always something beautiful to see and experience.