THE BEGINNING OF MY BELIEF IN BABA

 
On the third day of the Sahavas given by Baba to the Maharashtrian group (which I attended along with Dr. Deshmukh), while the Sahavasis were supposed to go to Arangaon in a procession, I requested Baba to allow me to go to Poona on the plea that my father's friend was seriously ill, which in fact was not true. I thought I had finished Baba's darshan and had enough of it for two days and I had no further interest in staying at Meherabad. But Baba replied saying, "No. Don't go anywhere. You are now in God's company, which is so rarely available." I kept quiet. Dr. Deshmukh also pursued me to stay for a whole week.

The procession started and was almost on the way to Arangaon when an advocate from Delhi who was also attending the same Sahavas, went nearer to Baba and sought his permission to return to Delhi. I was looking to Baba as to what would be His reply. At once, Baba gave him permission and asked Adi Kaka to drop him at the railway station. I took a chance and once again asked Baba to allow me to go to Poona in the same way as he permitted that advocate to go to Delhi. Baba said, "No, you need not go; the case of the advocate is different. It is urgent and he is required to attend the Court by the end of this week."

I insisted saying, "If that is so, my case is more important and urgent since I am required to see my father's friend who is so seriously laid up in Poona."

Now Baba became serious and said, "Is it true? Then you also go but never return here again." — which I could not understand. Baba then directed Adi also to drop me at the railway station along with that advocate. I thanked Baba and left.

Adi Kaka dropped us both at the Ahmednagar Railway Station. After a while the train to Delhi via Manmad arrived and the advocate left by the said train. Now I was waiting and waiting but my train towards Dhond did not arrive. There was some derailment of a goods train between Manmad and Nagar. It was therefore, announced that my train would be indefinitely late.

Then I had to go to the Bus stand where I got the bus for Poona within 15 minutes. After an hour's journey, the bus suddenly stopped with a big bump on the way. All got down including myself. It took 2 hours to complete the repair and get started again. Somehow, I reached Poona late at about 10 p.m. I took a taxi and went to the house of my father's friend, who was really not at all ill. As soon as I got down from the taxi, I saw from a distance a big lock hanging on the door of that house. The old man was not there. He went to his village that very evening. There was no one in the house and it was all locked.

I came back to Poona station and tried to sleep in the first class waiting room. I could not sleep. I thought of going to Bombay to meet a friend of mine. So next morning I reached Bombay and went to my friend's house. But to my very utter surprise, I found he was seriously ill and the house was full of relations. In fact, he was in a state of coma. I stayed for a few hours but my friend did not come back to his normal senses.

I came again to Bombay Railway Station to return to Kharagpur, where my money purse and the railway ticket were all pick-pocketed. I was left with only Rs. 15.

I became totally helpless. I was about to burst into tears. I thought still worse might happen to me at Kharagpur. I deeply felt in my heart of hearts that all this was Baba's doing. So I purchased a ticket to Nagar and returned to Meherabad on the 5th day of the Sahavas. I stealthily approached Dr. Deshmukh in his room and he jumped in surprise at my very unexpected return.

I was crying while embracing Dr. Deshmukh. In the meantime, for no reason, Baba happened to come to the same room and saw me. I stood with folded hands before Baba and craved for his kind pardon. But Baba, instead of pardoning me, took up for the act of disobedience on my part and said, "I told you not to come back here again. Why did you do so? Go back, go back from here at once, you liar."

I was trembling and about to fall at His feet, after confessing the truth. Suddenly Baba's mood changed. He picked me up with His soft golden godly hands and not only embraced me but also kissed me and reiterated, saying, "Never doubt for a moment that I am God. I forgive you. I know everything."

Baba then asked Deshmukh to take care of me and accommodate me in the same room where I was previously staying along with Mr. Sherlekar & Booty of Nagpur. Thus I missed two days of the 1955 Sahavas. This was the beginning of my belief in Baba as God.